“[M]an, who has no automatic values, has no automatic sense of self-esteem and must earn it by shaping his soul in the image of his moral ideal.”
-Ayn Rand

Depression is on the rise. Self-worth is on its way out. Over 15% of people in developed countries are clinically depressed. People lack confidence in a manner that is simply shocking. We’re in the middle of a psychological crisis.

The Self-Esteem Crisis

So what’s the cause of this? Why are people so down about themselves? Here are some theories (that I disagree with) that are incredibly popular but fall short of the truth of the matter:

• It’s Just a Disease. While doing research for for the topic, I was alarmed to discover that low self-esteem is considered a disease. Coping.com argues that “Low self-esteem meets the criteria for an illness or disease.” Their reasoning was that low self-esteem wasn’t controllable, is “contagious” and often leads to death. At least they got the last part right.

• Not Enough Acceptance. One of the best “wrong” answers for the cause of low self-esteem is the lack of acceptance. If others don’t love you, your own understanding of self-worth goes down. This is true, in a sense, but it’s wrong-headed in its nature.

• Negative Thoughts. This is, by far, the biggest argument you can find in the self-improvement blogosphere. Negative thoughts are seen as the cause of all negative actions, negative consequences and negative facts. If you want more self-esteem, just think happy thoughts — your problems will be solved.

• It’s Uncaused. By far the most bizarre, millions believe that self-esteem isn’t caused. It’s just a simple choice that people make. “Hold your head up,” they say, thinking that the self-esteem crisis is just randomly caused, without any external cause.

So are these the causes of low self-esteem? Is it a disease, or is it caused by not being accepted, or negative thoughts? Or is it just self-induced by brute choice? Not a chance. Each of these “causes” are simply wrong.

The Flaws of The So-Called “Causes”

• The “Disease” Myth: This is just a play on words. It’s still “curable” by self-determination, and it’s not spread by germs. By giving it scary labels like “disease” we do nothing but encourage it, implying that there’s nothing one can do to boost one’s self-esteem. “It’s not your fault” is no way to handle personal development; honesty and responsibility are.

• The “Acceptance” Myth: In my experience, those who are literally spoiled with love end up with the least amount of self-esteem. Being loved doesn’t mean that you will love yourself. That’s just a “feel-good” logical leap.

• The “Negative” Myth: Thinking positive thoughts simply masks the underlying problem: viewing oneself to be negative on some level. One can’t force happiness, one must create happiness. Telling a slave to just “think happy thoughts” is no way to let him taste freedom. To be free you must break your chains.

• The “Uncause” Myth: Of course low self-esteem is caused by the person feeling it. The only question is … what caused them to view themselves in that light? Once again, this is a superficial view of a deep-rooted psychological flaw.

Unfortunately for millions of people, the above answers are simply wrong. To understand the real heart of low self-esteem, we have to shoot back to the basics. Why do people even function? Why do we live the way we do? Why do we make any decisions?

It’s All About Values

One of the things you’ll hear me say over and over here is that everyone acts to achieve their values. In other words, you do something because you want to achieve some lofty idea…period. You watch TV because you value entertainment/news/weather. You go to the gym because you value exercise. You buy ice cream because, well, you like ice cream. You vote because you have some sort of political or social values. It’s impossible to not make a decision without trying to achieve some sort of value.

Believe it or not, that’s a type of mini-philosophy. You have a goal, a system of thought and you work to make decisions to achieve that goal. That’s a philosophy, and everyone has one. Human beings simply aren’t equipped to function without some sort of philosophical compass. It’s just impossible.

Self Esteem and Self Value

If everyone was honest, they would admit that they hate some ideas or -heaven forbid!- some people. (Note: I’m using the word “hatred” very loosely here.) I won’t be discussing the ethics of hatred now, but talking about hate is ironically a great way to see what someone actually loves. Example: people hate cliches because they love originality. Though a bit obvious, looking at what we hate is an easy way of seeing what we love.

Low self-esteem is no different. It means that there is a lack of self-respect, a lack of self-confidence, and a lack of self-acceptance. There is a reason for this. Low self-esteem doesn’t just happen. Low self-esteem is not caused by germs. Low self-esteem is not necessarily because others don’t like us. Low self-esteem is not because we aren’t thinking happy thoughts. One’s lack of self-esteem shows what one values.

To understand the cause even more, think back to the concept we call “guilt.” Guilt is when we feel as though we have cheapened ourselves through an immoral action. It’s an automatic response to violating our own real value code. If you actually value honesty, lying will cause guilt.

In other words, we see ourselves through the lens of our values, just like we view everything else. We give ourselves self-value or “self-esteem” only on the basis to how well we achieve our own values. That’s just the way the human mind functions.

Self-esteem goes to a deep-yet-basic level. Low self-esteem simply means that one does not live up to one’s own standards. The standards might not even be conscious; the standards might be subconscious beliefs and codes that one has set for oneself without realizing.

How to Build Self-Esteem

There is no “happy” or easy solution to solving low self-esteem on any real level. It takes work, guts, responsibility and rationality. Rather than being “content” with who you are, you must either lower your values or live up to them. Lowering one’s values is outrageously difficult — “completely” lowering them might be impossible.

Boosting self esteem requires that you use reason to recognize if your values contradict. Do you value selfishness and selflessness at the same time? Do you want to have more … and want be content with less? Do you value honesty, but also social acceptance — to the level that you’d willingly “alter” your personality to please others?

Any of these conflicts, plus a myriad of others, leads to a value code that isn’t achieved. Whether you consciously realize the conflict or not, your subconscious mind knows that something is amiss. Your self-analysis will be honest on at least some level, destroying your internal dignity and lowering your self-esteem.

Who are you? What ideas do you think you represent? What kind of life do you want to live? If you couldn’t fail, what would you try? Go out and be that person. Life is all about achieving your life purpose. Your life purpose — the fundamental value(s) that you live for — is the most important thing you can ever know and achieve.

You can’t build legitimate self-esteem by pepping yourself up. You can’t build legitimate self-esteem by pretending that things are better than they are (out-of-control optimism). To have a “deep fix,” just read the tips below.

6 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

The following methods for boosting self-esteem are written for someone struggling with self-esteem. Don’t take offense — they are given with tough love. I value those who suffer from low self-esteem far too much to give them an answer that will only make them feel better for a few minutes. Your goal shouldn’t be to stop hating yourself; your goal should be for your to be your own hero. Heroic living is too sacred to leave to storybooks.

• Have value-integrity. Stop caring what others think. This takes practice and will probably be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Train yourself to become a type of social-Buddhist, detaching your own self-esteem to the whim of others. This is the first, hardest step to achieving self-pride.

• Accept responsibility. This is, on some level, your fault. It is painful to accept, but it’s true. Recognize that you and only you are responsible for your own self-perspective. How you view yourself is how you view yourself.

• Seek the truth at all costs. Reality is a brutal, tough yet concrete place. It exists, regardless of how we feel about its existence. This means that to accomplish any great thing, you must understand how reality functions. Make sure you look for the truth — even if it hurts. This is the first step to all self-improvement.

• Don’t abandon your mind. The only way to understand the truth is through reason. Make sure your values don’t contradict. Make sure your actions don’t contradict. When you start looking for contradictions, you’ll find them. Ask an honest friend what your biggest hypocrisy/flaws are. Rationally consider them, and make the right choice.

• Live up to your values. The fundamental principle for viewing yourself as valuable is to live up to your values. Discover what you believe a human being should be like, then become that human being. Achieving what you value is the only way to a guaranteed rationally high level of self-esteem.

• Do something almost impossible. The long-term satisfaction of doing something few people can do is outrageously powerful. It’s a rational sense of pride; one that can’t be shaken for years. Find some sort of competition or skill that you can master — then master it. This might take years, but it’s worth it.

Last Thoughts

Remember that there is no “easy” answer or “quick fix.” Like most things worth doing, it takes time and an outrageously huge amount of work. But it’s worth it. Rationally analyze yourself, your values and how you can achieve them. Now achieve them.

What are some other tips for beating low self-esteem? Have you had any experience with it?

Related posts:

1. Reason 101
2. The Pursuit of Happiness
3. The Meaning of Life

Not everyone felt that way, of course. Whenever a topic was brought up about some social ill — terrorism, war, crime or foolish laws — the girl on the left of me would always exclaim, “I just don’t get people! Why do people act that way! Ugh — people make no sense!”

Looking back, she was dead right.

Personal Development 101: Using Reason

This article is a bit controversial but is simply essential to any real amount of personal development.

We must use reason to consistently make right choices. The most important fundamental principle of smart personal development is the foundation of reason. If we abandon our minds, our choices become random and arbitrary. The consequences to our life, then, become almost like a game of chance without reason.

With reason, we are able to more adequately understand the Universe, what’s really happening around us, and how to maximize every situation to avoid unnecessary conflicts, harming others, and achieving our own values.

This is simply an introductory post on the topic of thinking reasonably, and will focus on the general collective evidence in support of a reasonable way of thinking. In future articles I’ll explain more connections in terms of emotional, relationship and financial success. But for now, let’s take a walk through history.

What is Reason?

“Reason” simply means honest, conscious and coherent analysis. Logic is only one part of reason. For example, a decision is reasonable if it is a logical conclusion founded on:

• Knowledge. All available information must be used. If one knows that milkshakes have over 1100 calories, it would be unreasonable to drink two every day while trying to lose weight. Utilizing known facts is essential to reasonable thinking. Using reason is, in its crudest form, simply piecing together information to concoct a coherent theory.

• Honesty. Denial on any level is the enemy of reasonable thinking. If one tries to “pick and choose” which facts to acknowledge, then there’s no point in reasoning — reasoning stops being a path towards objective truth and becomes a tool towards whimsical bias. Reality exists in a concrete state whether we like it or not; we might as well make the best of it.

• Integrity. Reason doesn’t fluctuate because of political correctness. If something makes sense, then it makes sense regardless of its popularity. Reasonable thinkers “stick to their guns” when they know their position makes sense and is true — otherwise, the point of reason is completely lost.

• Independence. Reason can’t be carried out by another person, but is an internal analysis. Trusting someone else can make sense at times when they have more available information (doctors, lawyers, etc), but not for everyday living or for achieving one’s personal goals. It’s not reasonable to blindly trust another’s judgment, given the necessary elements of integrity and knowledge. Plus, how does one determine who to listen to?

• Coherency. The basic function of reason is the organization of information so that you can understand what the truth is. The reason we call this “coherency” is because of the primary test to see if your thoughts are correct: are there contradictions? A single contradiction, no matter how small, proves that the argument is flawed and needs to be fixed, because the laws that govern the Universe don’t contradict.

Reason is the crux of personal development, healthy individuals, a healthy society and success on any significant level. The abandonment of “common sense” is the leading cause of nearly all social and personal problems. In direct contrast, a life founded on reason leads to a coherent lifestyle, emotional stability, trust, healthy relationships, happiness and creation.

Intellectual “Humility”

Reason is primarily concerned with understanding reality, and supposes that reality exists outside of our minds. There are two basic positions when it comes to how we view reality:

• Reality is Concrete. If you jump from a plane you’d better have a parachute, regardless of how you “feel” or believe about the ground below. Reality won’t stop functioning the way it does because of your mind. Reality exists, regardless if you do; if you die, reality will continue. For an example of a rationalist, look to the scientists of society.

• Reality is Relative. You can change reality if you have a positive outlook (Positive Thinking), or if you wish something is true something really hard and often (the Law of Attraction). For extreme examples of people who place beliefs over reality, think of the parents who refuse to allow their children to see doctors even when they are terminally ill. Our beliefs have consequences, and sometimes those consequences are extreme.

Reasonable living supposes that we are not gods, and that reality won’t fluctuate depending on our moods, our religions, or our beliefs. Reason argues we should change our beliefs and feelings in line with reality, because reality certainly won’t change for us.

This isn’t to say that our outlook isn’t important. Stay tuned for new articles coming soon about a rational approach to the Law of Attraction and Positive Thinking. Both can certainly be helpful for achieving one’s goals — if understood correctly.

The Role of Emotion

Unfortunately, one of the most common myths of reason is that somehow one must never feel emotion if one is to be reasonable or logical. This is simply not true. Reason is how we know something is true — it doesn’t mean that we don’t feel anything. It’s very possible to rationally analyze a situation and to feel extremely passionate as well. We can certainly feel emotion while reasoning; we must accept that emotion should not be the means to the conclusion, but a consequence of the conclusion.

Along those lines, some of the most emotionally powerful instances of my life were those that were founded upon reasoning. Several years ago, when I was still piecing together my thoughts on personal development, I reached a powerful milestone; I was finally comfortable with doing something out of self-interest. Before this one moment, I would feel guilty whenever I enjoyed any activity.

Once I made the emotionally agonizing decision that making an action out of self-interest was justified, I decided to do something extremely small to prove to myself that I truly believed it. I decided to spend an entire evening simply enjoying myself with trivial amusements. I bought an iced coffee, a pizza and watched a “fun” movie alone. Though for most this would have been a silly way to live “selfishly,” it was an incredibly huge step for me in my journey of development.

It was one of the most emotionally powerful experiences I have had. It wasn’t powerful because I was living irrationally; it was powerful because I had decided to consciously and rationally alter my value code and live up to it. Emotion and reason, both in their proper place, are a powerful combo for a life well lived.

Case Study: Scientific Advances

The most important advances of the last century are the scientific achievements. The life expectancy has sky-rocketed in Western society, and great leaps are being made to find the cure for aids and the cure for cancer. It’s only a question of time before we unlock the weaknesses of both of those diseases, maintaining an even higher life expectancy.

Even beyond the basic need of survival, science has vastly increased the comfort level with widespread entertainment through Television, movies, radio, music and the Internet. Science is completely founded upon reason.

If not for knowledge, medicines could never be invented or cured. If not for honesty, we’d still think the earth is flat. If not for integrity, pain killers wouldn’t exist (pain killers were thought to be evil by many fundamentalists at the time of their invention). If not for independence, we’d see the complete collapse of all scientific endeavors.

Instead, through an appeal to rationality and comprehensive analysis, we see success. There’s a reason for it: emotions don’t help us determine what is true. Science gets results because science understands the system of reality. Science and reason are essentially of the same concept — coherently and honestly organizing information.

Oddly enough, millions see science as essential to the advancement of civilization, but see personal reason in a completely different light. It’s absurd to suppose that the same source of the advancements of civilization can’t also be a source for personal advancement.

If you want to lose weight, you look primarily for a scientific method for doing so. Scientific methods simply include acknowledging how the body operates. For example, focusing on intaking less calories through dieting, or on burning more calories through exercise; both are scientific means to losing weight, and are almost certain ways to do so.

A Society that Rejects Reason

The Age of Enlightenment is one of the most crucial turning points in the history of mankind. Throughout the 1700s, a philosophical revolution took place in the minds of millions. Dumping a blind faith in organized religion (such as the Roman Catholic church), the people turned towards reason and critical analysis.

It was upon this philosophical foundation that Western civilization came to see great advances in science, business and economy. Life is good when people think. The industrial revolution, consumer choice and an outrageously increased standard of living were the direct consequences of the philosophy based on rationality.

Since that time society has abandoned the concept that rational beliefs are the only beliefs worth having, and has moved into a more “Postmodern” society, where reality is now seen as flexible, truth as non-absolute and rationality as “cold” and unnecessarily crude. And there are consequences.

We are told “love isn’t rational”; divorce rates escalate.

We are told “morality is flexible”; kids kill kids.

We are told “happiness is an emotion”; depression stats explode.

We are told to trust our emotions first, as though we are internally created with an obvious sense of right and wrong — even though society has nearly an infinite ideas as far as what this even means, with dozens of religions, hundreds of sects and millions of people caught up in the intellectual-emotional war. Each of the thousands of “sides” simply tries to scream the loudest, claiming to appeal to basic emotions.

We’re seeing the consequences of abandoning reason. One of the “givens” of society is that “not everything makes sense,” giving an excuse for purely emotional decision making. Without a concrete reason (hence the term “reasoning”) for our actions or beliefs, we become whimsical sheep. Instead of following or concocting beliefs out of thin air, regardless of how “cold” it feels, we must come to terms with a need for rationality and reasoning.

What Next?

As I said before, this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to understanding rationality. I’ll be writing more and more instructions for living reasonably; if you haven’t subscribed, make sure you do — you won’t want to miss the free guides.

Also, stay tuned for the next article in the Personal Development 101 series: understanding the need for a purpose in life — an ultimate goal that will take pain, work and years to achieve.

Related posts:

1. How to Kill Low Self-Esteem
2. The Creator Personality
3. 5 Reasons You Should Get Rich

The creator is someone who always adds value. Always. The creator is constantly putting something valuable together, whether it’s a product, a job or a plan.

Creators can’t help but succeed because our economy rewards value; if one makes something valuable then people will want it. When people want it, they’ll pay. Value and profit go hand-in-hand.

Building wealth requires having the mindset of a creator.

This isn’t just about starting a business. This article will focus on how to be a creator in the “everyday” workplace. No product-line required.

Value Creates Profit

Our economic system rewards value. A product will not exist if no one purchases it and no one will purchase a product if they don’t believe it has value.

The iPod, best-seller books, designer clothes and other products only exist because people will purchase them. Make a cruddy product that simply doesn’t work to any extent and you won’t do as well as you would if you offered value.

Coca-Cola got where it’s at today because of a consistent taste and because of incredibly creative marketing towards the start of the mega-company’s existence. Value created profit.

The Internet was a mess before Google decided that a search-engine based on rewarding “popular” content would be valuable. Value created profit. A lot of profit.

When it comes to business, there’s an entire branch dedicated toward convincing people that the product is valuable. Marketing is founded on this premise: you should spend money (give us profit) because we’ll give you value. And it works.

People like value. People flock to value. People pay for value.

This isn’t just for business owners. The principle is much, much more basic than that. Understanding and emphasizing value is the crux of all achievement by anyone, not just for a business operator.

Creators Eventually Succeed

A creator who works as a webmaster who has a website is constantly adding valuable content to his website. This in turn will cause other webmasters to link to his website, which generates traffic, which causes more links — you see the point. Considering traffic means money, that’s success.

A creator who works as a grocery stocker is constantly analyzing how the organization of the store-rooms is done, looking for ways to add value to the system. The stocker will be promoted because people who promote value help the company. The higher he goes, the more profit the company makes.

A creator who works in an office discovers more efficient ways to use the technology and actually “get things done”…within reason.* With such efficiency more opportunities and resume’ builders will come along. Remember, the more you get accomplished while at work, the more responsibility you can take on. This is long-term prep for a job transfer.

Creators can’t help but succeed. If they’re workers, they’ll become managers. If they’re managers, they’ll become owners. If they’re associates, they’ll become partners.

Become a Creator

Want to do well? Become a creator. Becoming a creator is outlandishly difficult; it requires completely throwing off the typical “worker mentality” and replacing it with the philosophy of achievement. Read below for tips on how you can start looking at the world through the eyes of a creator.

Don’t Watch the Clock. Have you ever been to a store that closed a few minutes early, because the manager stepped out and the employees wanted to quit a bit early? The employees might think they are acting selfishly and are getting what they want. They aren’t.

The “clock-watcher” mentality is the anti-thesis of the creator. The creator goes to work for the ability to add value as habit, not to work just long enough to run out the door the moment the clock strikes five.

Keep Your Eyes Open. There are always dozens of ways that we end up wasting time and doing thing inefficiently. The key to creating a more productive workplace in order to free up time and get noticed by superiors is to constantly look for those flaws. You know they’re there; what are they?

Do Something Weird. Weird things can save time and create “something from nothing.” I once found out a friend wanted a website designed, so I volunteered to do it for $250, about half of what she was prepared to pay. She was delighted, of course, and I promised to have it done within 24 hours.

One small glitch: I don’t know how to design websites. So I Googled “outsource web design” and found an incredibly professional firm that agreed to do it for $75. Within 24 hours I made $175 because of 3 emails. In a few days I’ll be talking about outsourcing, so make sure to subscribe so you can read it; outsourcing can literally change your life.

Be the Best. Nearly every work-force has different levels of workers. The better and more knowledgeable the worker, the more likely that worker will be seen as the leader. Be the best, get the best.

Give Up Lunch Hour. If you spend an hour every single day brainstorming how you can find away to build a passive income source (I’ll be writing more about this as time goes on) you’ll find one eventually. If you spend an hour every single day in conversation with your significant other, you’ll build an incredibly stronger relationship.

Want to learn the guitar? An hour a day is more than enough time. Want to build a high-traffic website? Five hours per week is more than enough time as long as you don’t hurry. (I’ll be writing more about building a high-traffic website business later on!)

An hour every day is a lot of time. Over a year, it’s hundreds of hours. Over a lifetime, it’s literally months of potentially pure productive action. Don’t waste your lunch hour just mindlessly munching; find a way to turn that hour into something productive. The results will be nearly instantaneous.

You can eat and achieve at the same time.

The Results of Productivity

My father is one of the greatest success inspirations I ever hope to have. He’s been the master of getting “little things” constantly done so he has time for the “big things.” He married my mother when he was 19 and broke. They worked on discovering productive ways to get things done ever since.

I didn’t come up with the above ideas; my father lived them. He moved from the DJ of a small AM radio station to the manager of all of the radio stations in the area in just a few years. He now owns his own radio incorporation known by nearly everyone as being the most professional “get it done” business in the state.

There are literally millions of individuals who have done the same. I have yet to meet a self-made millionaire who didn’t succeed in the same manner. Learn to be a creator and create your own success.

Related posts:

1. Save Money or Make Money?
2. 5 Reasons You Should Get Rich
3. Rethinking College, a Series of Articles